Sam’s plan was to build positivity with a game.
Sam was leading a tough team—low morale, low trust, and even lower engagement. Every meeting felt like a grind. Negativity hung in the air.
So, he had an idea.
He brought in a football.
Here was the plan: at the start of each daily meeting, he’d offer a bit of positive recognition, then toss the football to someone else, who would do the same. The goal? Spread positivity. Build connection. Create a culture of appreciation.
It was creative. It was well-intentioned.
And it flopped.
Day one, half the team said “pass.”
So by week two, Sam made praise mandatory—no more passing allowed
The result? Sarcasm. Eye rolls. Tension. Even more disconnection than before.
Eventually, Sam gave up. The football went back in the drawer. The culture stayed stuck.
What can we learn here?
1. You Can’t Force Discretionary Behavior
Recognition is a choice. When leaders make it mandatory, they strip it of authenticity. Praise that’s forced feels fake—both to the giver and the receiver.
Modeling praise can create a ripple effect in a way that mandating cannot.
2. Influence and Trust Beats Authority—Every Time
Sam was the manager. He had the title. But authority doesn’t guarantee influence.
Just because you can make a rule doesn’t mean you should.
Here’s some better techniques:
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Modeling the behavior yourself
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Inviting participation
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Creating psychological safety
Want your team to share recognition? Start by giving it. Genuinely. Consistently. No football required.
3. Trust Is the Soil—Behavior Is the Plant
Sam’s mistake wasn’t the idea—it was skipping the groundwork. Praise can feel threatening in low-trust environments. Without psychological safety, even good intentions backfire.
Trust-building starts with:
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Listening without correcting
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Admitting when you’re wrong
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Recognizing effort privately, before going public
Culture Isn’t a Performance. It’s a Pattern.
Sam wanted to change the culture. That’s leadership.
But change doesn’t come from props or pressure. It comes from patterned reinforcement, built over time, in an environment people trust.
If you’re trying to build a culture of recognition, start small:
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Notice one thing a team member did well today
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Name it specifically
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Say thank you
Then do it again tomorrow.
